The Master Cleanse

Once again I have had a lapse in my blog writing. You'll be happy to know that during my lapse I have created 5 drafts that were never quite good enough to post. They start all cool and then just disappear because I have to get up and do something else. I hate it when people tell me they're busy, mostly because I fell like they are insinuating that I haven't been busy too. But the truth is lately I have barely made time to shower and put clothes on. Anyway on to the title of this blog... For the last four days I have been doing this thing called the master cleanse that some hippie herbalist guy made up to give people diarrhea. The main gist of it is you go on a liquid diet for 10 to 40 days. The real kicker is the liquid you drink is a ghastly assortment of 3 flavors. Here they go: 1. First thing when you wake up you drink 32 ounces of uniodozed salt water. This is the most horrible experience ever. I've done it 4 days now and I mostly stand over he sink gagging. Just thinking about drinking it tomorrow morning makes me want to cry. 2. Throughout the day you drink a lemonade concoction that is definitely no countrytime product. It is freshly squeezed lemon, natural maple syrup, and the real kicker pure cayenne pepper. Each time I swallow it feels like fire tracing down to my gut. 3. This one is actually the best of the three, herbal laxative tea. My particular brand is aptly named "smooth move" for obvious reasons. I can tell you when I am pulling a dumb and dumber on the toilet I don't feel too smooth. Anyway if anyone out there wants and adventure... I dare you to do this thing. Try lasting longer than me. I'll keep you posted.